I will choose love

With all my poems about love, one would think I’m in it, ‘ in love’.

What does that even mean 

And when he said I was lost in love, I bet he thought I had lived it.

I bet he thought I knew her, like I had met her once upon a dream.

It’s funny how you could crave for something so deep and yet it seems farther from reach.

So I admit, love eludes me, she has a way of hiding in the darkest corners and taking the next turns up to the grimness alleys leading to places I would never dare thread.

Love taunts me, she stays long enough for me to see the colour of her scarf as it wisked away attesting to her once presence.

Love drugs me, she gives me just enough to make me addicted leaving me with withdrawal symptoms. She poisons me with notions of sweet empty nothings, calls my name with lips dripping with honey then turns into a deadly viper.

Love numbs me, she let’s me see the sniper and tricks me to believing it’s cupid come to give me what I crave.

Love scares me with the thought of vulnerability and reckless abandon ; me? little me? no.

Yet when I’m on the floor bleeding, taking in my supposed last breathe I’d still crave her, I would still long for a love deeper than an ocean, higher than the highest mountain and if I  fall from her, having known what she gives, I’d climb back up, no matter how long it takes, no matter how hard it may be. I will choose love.

3 in 1 day

How could he

be in the midst of all this and still be 

The noise,  laughter and shear happiness was overwhelming even for me

And there he was in his own space, alone.

Alone but not sad, peaceful, he may not have shared in our glee but he was in his own world and he was happy. I suppose, I want him happy.

He seemed to look harder and longer, he was aware we were here that’s for sure. His  hovering eyes were evident of that

His long inquisitive stare at us was surprisingly not unsettling, he stared not in a stalker way but in pure observation, amusement.

I imagined he couldn’t believe us.

He’s deaf they said and it sunk in.

His deep stare, his silence, his blissful nature.

I felt pity for him then it occurred to me, he had got the better end.

For life wasn’t this, life wasn’t merry and happy all the time, life wasn’t roses and beautiful sounds, life wasn’t laughter and love songs and when life got hard , he won’t hear her mean remarks, he won’t hear her spiteful, hateful words. He would look at her and see only the colours that she gave, he would watch the sun rise and its set and he would imagined she cared.

….. wishlist

s5NHz2oiwfoyjnnHUCffN-QKXTH5L1n0qDddomAgdGpkmKO06Bt5iOAvaxvRAms5_aIRMQWzEoQrFY3OZyd83vTsMO0mGTV-4O09zKRglyRtpD17tvOkMoBQp_JtKQ=w486-h303-nc-1

I want to say we met under a  sky lit with many stars but the best view was you.

I want to say I missed a step, my heart skipped a beat and I knew it was you.  You’re the one.

I want to say you’re everything I had wished for but never thought was real.

I really want all these to be true.

A Different kind of Love

Tags

, , ,

Love can be many things, now this may sound weird… She drew in closer to me and said ‘ but I love it most when its revenge’.
A chill went down my spine not because of the sinister smile she gave nor the way her tongue rolled over the word ‘revenge’. It was because I knew what she meant, I loved it too.
No author explains this better than V.C.Andrews. Author of the five book series ‘Dollanganger book series’. But I loved how, the author could still portray love in its purest form.

I love you for reasons that have no beginning and no end. I loved you even before I knew you, so that my love is without reason or design. Tell me to go and I will. But know first, even if you turn me away, I will remember all my life that love that should have been ours, and when I’m stretched out cold I will but love you better after death.
– V.C.Andrews

Extracted from ‘if there be thorns’

My Best Emoji 😍

Tags

,

I love many things

I love when I wake up early and I get to see the sunlight fill up my room slowly but surely
It teaches me patience. Don’t worry child, it says its coming.
I love when I go through them hard times and come out stronger
It teaches faith. You see child, God says I told you I’ll see you through.
I love when I’m stuck in a funk and I know I can call them and they’ll be there with a truck load of encouraging words
It teaches me the value of family. You see child, they say we’ve got your back always and forever.
I love when I watch one of my many series and they portray love in the best way ever
It teaches me hope. You see child, it says happy ever afters does exist.
I love how we could talk for hours and never run out of what to say
It teaches me what it means to connect. Don’t worry child, he’ll say I’m here.
I love how I could withdraw to my inner me and find solace
It teaches me me. Don’t worry child, I often say I know
But I love most when I don’t have to cause you’re there
It teaches me love. Trust me child you say, I love you.

I Waited for You

I may be a couple of months late but I can’t forget the feeling I got when I heard ‘ i will wait for you’. For a girl who loves love this was a perfect description of what it ought to be. Now, ‘ i waited for you’, someone pinch me. Perfection again. I’m going to wait and proudly say i waited. Till then, ‘ I’ll lay on my bed… And write poems on how I will wait for you’

His Love is Better Than Wine

One of the things that has brought comfort in this “season of singleness” is the fact that there are many others having the same experiences. Many others who are fabulous, amazing individuals who could be dating or courting or “kickin it”. But they don’t. Because they desire something greater. One of those individuals is Janette McGhee aka Janette…ikz. This woman is a BEAST on the mic. Her poetry is clean cut, precise, and the weapon of the word slices through the atmosphere like a two edged sword when she speaks. But you know what’s even better than her gift of poetry?

Her heart.

And her character.

And her love for Yeshua.

She released a poem a few years back called “I Will Wait for You”. In this piece she declares that she is done with settling and she will wait for the man God has for her. If He in…

View original post 671 more words

why doesn’t he

Tags

, , , ,

someone said it a while ago and i couldn’t help but pick it up. She said she hates the fuss, why do I have to play the perfect girl, dress all nice and wear the perfect smile 😊. Why don’t you just love me.

so I’ve heard of how theirs is an epic love story and of how he loved her back. I’ve heard of how their first word turned into conversations that stretched on for hours. I’ve heard of those fights and heart breaks that made them redefine what they felt love was.

but what of the girl sitting at the back sit of the world? Why doesn’t someone tell her story.

the story of how she is too scared to speak up yet inside she could burst with a thousand reason that might just make you change your mind and say you love her back.

so why the hek doesn’t he? Why doesn’t he love her?

I mean doesn’t he see her efforts, her prolonged laughs at his dry jokes, those nearly stalker but deep sexy stares (she hopes), she’s being told from all the movies and books she’s read that that’s what starts it.

so why doesn’t he notice? Why doesn’t he love her? She would sit at that back sit and imagined he did. Those thousand reasons

How she loved

Tags

, , , , ,

she loved those smiles that hid her tears

those laughs so coarse her throat hurt

she loved the solitude and the way the silence sounded, because in her ears they were beautiful symphonies.

she loved the awkward look she got when she was simply being herself.

she loved the way it made her feel unique and without a care

and how she loved their laughter and their some what sincere smiles because they made her know she was not a part of them and would never be.

she loved those noisy nights when all she heard was her voice calming her through it.

she loved, ooh how she loved who she was and wasn’t afraid to show it.

and she loved. Loved him who wasn’t afraid either. Not afraid to see her for who she truly was. Whoever that was, for she was yet to discover.

but most especially, she loved that he loved her back.

 

This is…

This is strength
This right here is strength
So no, I wont let anyone tell me I’m small and weak
Cos I’ve lived it
I’ve been it when weakness wasn’t an option
When I had to kick myself back up
This is courage
This is ‘you want it? Fight for it’
This is relentlessness and outright stubbornness
This is me saying I’ll earn it
This is love
Not the kind that makes you go crazy… Ok maybe
The kind that makes you love you the way you’ll want someone to and even better
Cause I know
I know what I’ve gone through
I know my struggle and my fight
And honey, I love the me I’ve become
So this is truth
The kind that changes everything
The kind that makes you different
And I’ve come to learn that different is good
So this is me.

there’s nothing like finding yourself. Knowing who you are and going for it, going at it in spite of every and any obstacle. To those who have, congratulations and to those like me still discovering themselves, loving and sometimes hating the process, chin up, you’re almost there.

27th April

so today I did good

today I didn’t think of how I looked nor the words I would speak

today I stood before a crowd ‘a small crowd’ and I loved it.

they were looking at me, absorbing all I said, flowing with me and loving it (I hope).

so today I did good

I forgot about my shyness and wore confidence like a king would wear his robe with pride.

so today I loved me, loved the me I know is me.

today I held their attention like a news reporter giving updates that affected the world would.

today I was me

today I didn’t feel like crying, so today I danced instead.

today I smiled wider and loved more

today they shook my hand, you did good they said

so today I did good

today I walked with style. Head held up, shoulders back and chest out.

today I played with my hair and they noticed, I laughed and they laughed with me.

today I stood on my tippy toes and swayed left and swayed right.

so today I read, drugged from this hype I pushed sleep aside and read.

today I realised, I can be as great as my imaginations, and I will be

today I was me, the me I know me to be.

so today, today was great.